I Am Phobia
by Dedicednu
Summary: The Phobias of your favorite WWF superstars. First comedy. Please Read/Review!!!
1. Introduction

A/N = I'm going more for amusing then flat out comedy. Frankly because I suck at it. lol.  
I don't know the wrestlers phobias or if they even have any. If they do, I feel for Rock in  
this fic..... ::shudder:: lol  
Review and let me know what you think. Should I continue?  
  
aracniphobic- fear of spiders  
claustrophobic- fear of enclosed places  
achluophobic- fear of the dark  
  
  
  
I Am Phobia  
  
Oh, hi there. You kinda caught me in the middle of something. *ahem* let me introduce  
myself. To some people I am everywhere they look, I can creep in the shadows or be in  
plain sight. Everyone knows me and has experienced what I can do at one time or another,  
no matter how hard they try to deny it. You guessed it. I am phobia. I know you heard of  
me, everyone has. I can tell your fear just by looking at you. No use denying it. I know it.  
But we're not here to discuss your phobia. *sigh* No, I'm going to tell you an amusing  
tale. Not too amusing to the recipient but hopefully pretty amusing to you. You'd be  
surprised by what I know. The strongest people in the world have phobias. I can name  
three right off the bat. Take you beloved peoples champion, he's an aracniphobic. I know,  
shocking. What about Austin you say? Would you believe claustrophobic? It's not too  
shocking once you think about it. They're humans too. Would you believe that Kurt Angle  
is achluophobic? In case you didn't know that's the fear of the dark. *laughs* No, wait.  
Of course you could believe that....bad example.   
  
=Arachnophobia=  
Let's recall one incident with The Rock. ~~fades to past~~  
  
  
  
A/N- it gets better....hopefully Please Review!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. The Rock

A/N: Thanks to LittleAngel19 and Mysticqueen for their reviews. None of the characters  
belong to me.   
  
  
  
  
The Rock walked into his locker room in a good mood. He had just finished another great  
match with Triple H and everyone seemed to go home happy. He tossed his empty bottle  
of water into the trash and went to reach into his bag to retrieve his clothes so he could  
take a shower. A small quick movement inside the bag caused him to freeze. He frowned  
and leaned closer to the opening. Another jerky movement and when Rock realized what  
it was, he jumped back.  
  
"Holy shit!!" He yelled as the enormous spider crept outside his bag and onto the bench.  
It's large, black, hairy, prickly body with it's long legs bent and raised over its body,  
seemed to bounce on the wooden bench. Rock froze, every nerve in his body was  
beginning to shake because of the hideous creature that had invaded his private space.  
Every time the spider would move, Rock would move back. He quickly looked around,  
trying to see if he could use anything for a weapon. Paper cup, no he'll have to get too  
close. Towels, no way. His luck the thing would crawl up the towel and onto him. There  
was nothing. The spider continued his way down the side of the bench. Rock watched as it  
began its slow decent, its ability to walk vertical making it even more eerie. Once it was  
on the floor, it began raising it's front legs, feeling the air for someone to which he could  
inject his lethal poison to some unexpected human. Rock slowly began stepping back, eyes  
wide and heart racing. The spider got sense of the large figure and quickly made a few  
steps towards Rock, and Rock quickly took a few steps back, never moving his eyes from  
his apparent assailant. He heard footsteps behind him and risked the chance to look to see  
who it was.  
  
"Paul!! Come here!!" Rock yelled, seeing the man race past his door, he quickly looked to  
make sure the spider hadn't snuck in another few inches. Its hundreds of eyes seemingly  
burning a hole in the back of Rock's head.  
  
"What?" Triple H asked calmly at the doorway, then he noticed the spider on the floor.  
"God, man, look at that." He said walking over to the spider and stomping on it, smearing  
it's goo all over the floor. Rock felt a shiver go down his spine and his face twisted in  
disgust 'Ewww' he shuddered 'he actually touched it!'.   
  
"You know, where's there's one, there's usually more." Triple H said, walking back  
towards the door. "Oh, what did you want?"  
  
Rock kept his eyes on the dead spider. "Nothing. Nevermind."  
  
"All right. Bye." He said and walked out the door. Rock felt another shudder go through  
his body and tried to block out the vision of hundreds of the little things crawling all over  
him. Another shudder. He stepped around the arachnid a good four feet and reached over  
to grab his bag. As he did so, he got another glimpse of the spider and felt compelled to  
get a closer look. He paused and cautiously took a few steps. He licked his lips nervously  
before kneeling down next to it. Its legs were sticking up through its torn thorax, and its  
backside looked like a popped balloon. Rock remembered what Triple H had said about  
there being more and, looking down at the huge, dead arachnid, he prayed to God there  
wasn't. Suddenly the nerves of the spider caused one of the legs to jerk up. Without  
another thought, Rock grabbed his bags and ran quickly out the door.  
~~  
*laughs* You should have seen it. That spider wasn't big! It couldn't have been no bigger  
then your thumb nail. But, no, in Rock's mind, that thing could eat him alive! God, that  
was hilarious. Did you ever think that The Great One, The Most Electrifying Man in  
Sports Entertainment could ever have been more scared his life?! Of a spider!? I'm sorry, I  
find that utterly hilarious. But, oh! If you think that was something, well listen to what  
happened to Stone Cold Steve Austin a few days ago....  
  
~~fades~~  
  
  
  
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!! PRETTY PLEASE????? 


	3. Stone Cold

A/N: Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed. It's really appreciated. I'm not really an  
Austin fan so I apologize for the delay...it was kinda hard to write without pissing some  
people off. Thanks!  
  
  
  
  
I am Phobia  
  
Stone Cold Steve Austin approached the staircase but stopped dead in his tracks when he  
saw the 'no entrance' sign chained across it. No entrance? Oh hell no! He had to be at the  
tenth floor for an interview ((A/N: probably to complain about another storyline! Sorry, couldn't   
help it!)) and there was no way in hell he was going to take the elevator. Not with today being   
as busy as it was. He stood there a few seconds with his hands on his hips, debating on   
what to do. He heard a ding to his far right and looked over to see the elevator doors open   
and people get out, it seemed to almost beg him to enter. Then the doors closed and continued   
up to the floors. Austin took a deep sigh. He had no choice. He slowly approached the elevator and  
watched the lights above the door to make sure the elevator was all the way up the top  
before he pushed the button. No use in hurrying after all. He usually manages to avoid the  
elevators but of course there were always those exceptions. 'pleasedontbecrowded  
pleasedontbecrowded pleasedontbecrowded pleasepleaseplease' he chanted to himself as if  
in prayer. Suddenly the elevator screeched to a stop and the doors slowly creaked open.  
Austin saw that only one person was on. Yes! It was going to be okay. He sighed in huge  
relief and noticed that the guy was staring at him like he was crazy so he finally stepped  
through the doors. He nodded a hello to the guy and went to stand in the back. The  
elevator pushed off onto the second floor, third, fourth, Austin was beginning to relax,  
thinking he'd be there in no time. No sooner had those thoughts crossed his mind had the  
elevator stopped and the doors open. Austin held his breath as he watched the doors  
slowly opened, revealing three figures. 'Damnit! Okay, half way there. It's okay.  
Breathe....' sixth, seventh floor. The elevator stopped on the eighth floor. 'Damnit!' Four  
more people got on. 'Isn't anyone going to get off!?' He screamed to himself. Suddenly  
the medal sides of the elevator popped . Austin jumped and looked around. 'the walls are  
cavin' in!' he thought to himself but tried to realize how stupid it sounded. But everything  
did looks smaller..and it was getting smaller. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to  
block out the images. Someone bumped into his side, causing him to bump into someone  
else. His eyes shot open. There was barely any space to breathe. Austin was beginning to  
sweat and tried desperately to even out his breathing. It felt like he was being baried alive.  
People on either side of him, in front of him, the hard back of the elevator seemed to push  
him into the crowd. He was subconsciously holding his breath. If the elevator didn't stop  
soon he swear he was going to scream. Then came the heavenly sound as the 'ding'  
echoed in the elevator. Austin quickly pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the  
stares he got as he shoved. He stepped through the doors and took a deep breath. He put  
his hands on his knees and bowed his head. It felt like he'd been in there forever! He heard  
the people whispering as the doors closed but he didn't care. He was out and he was  
ALIVE!!!! Oh yes-He did it. He stood up straight and, with a slight grin on his face,  
looked around for the office. He frowned and looked back at the elevator to see a sign  
with a large 9 painted on it. He dropped his head. He was going to make those stairs  
entrance-able!  
  
  
You had to have been there. I never thought I'd see the "Texas Rattlesnake" sweat that bad!  
It truely was a kodac moment. ::sigh:: Anyway, I'm sure all of you are interesting in seeing  
Our Olympic Hero scream in fear............you sick freaks. Well, to make you happy here goes!  
  
~~fades~~~  
  
  
A/N: kinda sucky ending but like I said...I (Invader Zim voice) Haaaate Austin!!! Well,  
hope you enjoyed it!! If you stayed this long it must have been at least okay. Please Review!!!!! 


	4. Kurt Angle

There were about thirty WWE superstars trapped backstage before showtime because a thunderstorm had fried some electrical wires and the tech guys were having trouble getting everything fixed. The lights were about the only thing still working but even they flickered on and off every few seconds; signaling their eminent demise. Kurt Angle sat in the main locker room area on an old wooden bench that had been set out. He sat at one corner and was watching the activity around him. He was a nervous wreck. His leg was shaking and his eyes were wide. Various superstars were carrying flashlights, ready for the eventual blackout. Kurt always made sure he had one everywhere he went but it was in his bag in his lockeroom. He desperately wanted to go and get it but he didn't want to be left alone in the halls in case that's when the lights went out. The lights flickered. Kurt grabbed the edge of the bench hard, his knuckles turning white. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself of how stupid it was, he kept thinking that when the lights did go out and came back on, he wouldn't be in the locker room anymore, that he'd be somewhere he'd never be able to escape . He gripped the bench tighter in the impulse of wanting something stable to hold on to. Every time the lights would flicker, Kurt could just see the shadows move closer to him. Suddenly Dwayne came in and sat on the opposite end of the bench. He calmly took a drink of his water and leaned forward on the bench. He looked bored compared to Kurt. Kurt noticed that he had the strap of a small flashlight around his wrist. Kurt was very tempted to ask if he could borrow it to go get his own flashlight in case the lights went out before he got there. He knew Dwayne would probably let him but Kurt didn't want to go by himself anyway so he just kept his mouth shut. The lights flickered again, causing Kurt to jump and grip the bench even tighter. Everyone looked up to the lights on impulse. Kurt had to get a hold of something else. When the lights did go out he wanted to make sure that he would still be in the lockeroom when they came back on. He looked over at Rock and slowly began to inch his way closer to him. He stopped to make sure no one noticed and inched a few more inches until he felt his shoulder barely touching Rock's shoulder. Just as he was about to breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that he wouldn't disappear into the darkness, Dwayne suddenly jerked his head over and glared at Kurt with confusing clearly on his face. He leaned away from Kurt and stared at him. Kurt looked at him with a look that said 'what?'. Dwayne looked him up and down before standing up and going to sit somewhere else. Kurt sighed in frustration. Rock was about half way to a vacant chair when the lights went out. Kurt froze. His heart was pounding. He couldn't see anything. Blackness surrounded him. Kurt could sense something running at him from the darkness. Suddenly he heard a loud crash and a man yell. Kurt yelled out in surprise and in horror. It sounded so close, like it was right on him. The lights came back on. Kurt's eyes shot open and his screams stopped. His mouth still open, sweat pouring down his face, and his knuckles white. He looked over to where the crash came from. He saw Dwayne; holding is knee, standing over a dented steel-folding chair. He was staring at Kurt with the same look he had a while ago. Kurt looked around to see everyone staring at him, confusing and surprise on their faces. Kurt let out the breath he was holding with a rush.  
  
A tech guy with wires around his neck peeked around the corner. "We're back, boys! It's showtime!"  
  
At the same time Vince walked by a still frozen, wide-eyed Kurt "Kurt, you got a match with Kane, you're out first."  
  
Deep in Kurt's subconscious a deep DAMNIT!!! was heard  
~~~  
::laughs:: Whoa! That was a good one!!! ::laughs:: OMG, someone get our Olympic hero a nightlight!!!! Hahaha!!!!! Well, fear-infested folks, that's all I got. If ya got a superstar you think has a phobia, give me a holla'. I'll be there!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!  
  
  
Fini  
  
  
A/N: You know, it is harder then it looks to come up with an idea about for a phobia of darkness…hope you liked it! I'm not too sure about how this phobia goes, but as a kid that's what the darkness felt like to me, so that is what I went by. In case you didn't get the ending, if you remember, part of Kane's music is for the lights to go out before his pyro hits so………..And fyi, I'm a big Kurt fan so :P 


End file.
